Tag Archives: cats

Are you wasting your time on staying busy?

It’s Wednesday evening. Outside my open balcony door spring is sunny but chilly, and my bare feet are cold. I’m half changed into running gear, but for the last half hour I’ve been curled up on my couch next to the furry, purring body of my cat. I gently scratch her fluffy stomach, her chin and her neck. Kiss her little head. She’s warm, and she warms my heart.

I’m not doing anything useful. Not solving any problems or planning my next move. Not even scolding myself for being lazy. I’m just cuddling with my cat. And it’s awesome. In fact, I can’t think of anything I’d rather do right now.

But time is fleeing, I only have one life, and there’s so much I could accomplish!

Yes. But right now, I want to pet my cat. If there is no time for petting your cat (or playing with your children or chilling with your friends or making out with your lover or whatever), then what’s time worth?

I’m not making the world go round. But guess what? Neither are you.

The color of 2014

In 2013…

I had a bright red diary, ”for energy, joy and generosity. Red for following my heart, loving without fear and taking center stage. Red like my face will be after I’ve run 53K on the 29th of June.”

I ran my first ultra marathon. Yes, I did it! But of course I did it. My dad even told me afterwards: “Every time we saw you along the road, you seemed happy and determined. There was never any doubt in your eyes.” And he was right. I was happy and determined, with three affirmations going through my head:
1. “When in doubt, move forward”
2. “I can do this”
3. “Pain is nothing”
They all just appeared in my head along the way. And I did it.

I became a crazy cat lady. Cats have always been my favorite animal, but I never dared take responsibility of another living being before. Until now. Tuffa is a middle-aged, black lady, and the best cat in the world. Becoming her human was the best thing I did last year.

I had my first whole year with antidepressants. Bliss! Not that they make life easy. They just make life not feel like a pointless pain in the ass. They let me be the person I want to be, instead of the person I manage to portray without falling apart. I used to be an antidepressant sceptic. Now I’m a fan.

I got louder and bigger. Louder? Speaking my mind, challenging the status quo, trusting my competence and my opinions. Bigger? Standing proud, wearing high heels more often. Uncrossing my legs and arms, opening up my body language to match my intellect and my emotions.

In 2014…

I want to live more. Travel more, create more, give more, learn and grow more.

I want to finish UltraVasan (90K) in August. Correction: I’m going to finish UltraVasan.

I want love. I really do. Not children. Just a best friend and faithful, passionate lover.

I want structure. Just a little bit. And that’s why the color of 2014 is…no color. Or every color. I’m finally going diary digital. Because, if I want something to change, I have to change something.